A dear friend of mine uses this phrase “back up” quite often and although it has been unusual for me to hear it so regularly in conversation, its implications are nothing out of the ordinary. In fact, as the words suggest, it is something of a fall back, a plan “B”, a contingency plan, a wall to lean on, the proverbial friend who is your ‘rock of Gibralta’, a light in the dark, certainty you can count on, your support person or buddy.
The idea is not only simple enough, but in this climate of change and living, necessary. After-all, we will stumble and fall, that’s a given. We need to accept it. And how else would we learn and grow? It is perhaps saddening however, to know that when we stumble and fall in this current state of physical reality, we will also be hit hard. It will hurt, and it will be detrimental, we might be run over in the fallout and it may even debilitate us momentarily.
- The pace alone of living today sees us using adrenaline for a primary source of energy, mostly unaware. Obviously, this will result in adrenal fatigue and eventually, a lack of motivation, energy, or understanding – dark days ahead.
- The unrealistic workloads placed upon us by our employers, their employers, government organisations, and in fact, society itself, continues to push us beyond what is a safe and healthy pace of task focussed effort. Wearing ourselves down and chipping away at our souls in the process – ill health coming.
- The proposed necessary successes in life are in themselves, detrimental. They are far from truth and part of the social construct only. We do not need a new four-wheel drive or a large expensive house to be successful, loved, or whole. Media propaganda serves to increase ill heath not prevent it.
“News is bad for your health. It leads to fear and aggression, and hinders your creativity and ability to think deeply. The solution? Stop consuming it altogether”
- We have stopped paying attention. Actually, that’s not a fair comment. It’s more like, we have been cleverly distracted from what’s important. Everything competes for our attention. Buy this, be like me, wear that, take some of this to feel better, watch this show, talk this way, go to that school, make this much money, live in this neighbourhood. We have become adverse to suffering, to emotion, to the truth, to FEELING. Unlike Buddah some 2500 years ago, we stay inside the gilded palace and refuse to venture out ever again. On and on and on. While the important questions like how to foster harmony and health in the family home goes without due attention – until it breaks and then there are all sorts of available services to react to the breakage.
Real harmony begins with inner calm, acceptance, and detachment. More living IN the world but not OF it. Sadly, I have to remind all my friends and loved ones that becoming OF this world while you live IN it, will eat you up and spit you out. But, as always, the choice has to be the persons and the persons alone. Metaphysically speaking, we are enduring a collective crisis. Some people will stand up to the plate and say “OK”, “What do I need to understand and what do I need to do?”, many, many more will not, instead being caught in the modern whitewater of corruption, control, and deceit – I am a victim.
So what can we do in the face of all this doom and gloom?
“Call for BACK UP!”
It’s not as silly as it sounds and in fact, may be one of the most clever self-care strategies we have available. Here’s what Chloe Park says at MINDBODYGREEN
“Where would we be without our friends? Where would we be without our inner support system? The folks who got yo’ back — for real. Life is so much better when shared with those you love”
So choose wisely friends. While it would be inappropriate to expect every need met from just one person, this is not about more being better either. These are in fact, hand-selected people. People who love you no matter, unconditionally, without judgement, and without the need of return affection even though you may offer that too. These are people who have entered into your life for reasons quite probably unbeknown to you, and quite probably, for undefined periods however, they are there, they are waiting. It may be hard to ask but remember this:
The privilege of opportunity which comes from someone wanting your support warms the soul
So, if you are building your network, just go ahead and offer that privilege, go ahead and ask.
Will you support me when I need it?
“Will you be my BACK UP?”
Pleasant musings till next time
Dobelli, R, 2013, News is bad for you – and giving up reading it will make you happier, THE GUARDIAN, http://www.theguardian.com/media/2013/apr/12/news-is-bad-rolf-dobelli, viewed May 2014
Park, C, 2013, Why It Is Important To Have A Support System, MINDBODYGREEN, http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-8694/why-its-important-to-have-a-support-system.html, viewed May 2014